When I think about the transformation of the world, be it climate change, economics, housing, education systems, or our justice system, I experience a familiar feeling—the fear of scarcity. This fear may be familiar to you as well. I am humbled to confess that as effective, determined, and brilliant as I know myself to be, any action that I take when I am experiencing a state of fear is going to be a harmful one.

At the personal level, I see my fear impacting my day-to-day interactions. The impact of my fear is exponentially harmful in places where I influence organizations amd institutions. The more I observe this pattern, the more I am brought to my knees in prayer, crying out: “Oh God, please show me how to shift out of the distress and freely offer myself in the flow of Spirit toward a better future!”

Photo of Sawyer Tracy - smiling face

A little about me

I am a thirty-something white woman from what is now called New Mexico, the land of the Mescalero Apache. I practice post-colonial, Wisdom Christianity. I have the joy of working for Wisdom & Money, an organization that supports people of wealth to move their money in alignment with Spirit through long-term community and spiritual practice. I share day-to-day life and resources together with an incredible community of people from all over the world at the Underground Seminary and Church of All Nations in so-called Minneapolis, MN, the land of the Očhéthi Šakówiŋ and Dakota people. 


Transformation starts on the inside

As I have explored my personal and family story and trauma and learned to see it clearly in its historical context, I know that my fear of scarcity did not begin with me. It is part of the inheritance I received from my family system, particularly my late grandmother, Penny. However, I also know it did not originate with her. Scarcity is the foundation of capitalism, and she and generations before her were beleaguered in complex debt systems as part of the European colonization of the world. Regardless of where this fear began and what havoc it wreaked in the past, I want it to stop with me. I intend to transform this fear within myself, thereby ending its transmission to future generations. My desire is to leave a legacy of abundance, by which I mean just enough to regenerate more; abundance of love, security, interdependence, and trust in God and all of creation to care for us as part of the whole. 


How does the transformation happen? 

For me, the answer is deep, abiding community—what some might call the incarnation of the Spirit—and the Be Present Empowerment Model, which I have been practicing intensely as part of the Trailblazing Institute. I have learned to notice when my distress is present within me, and I have learned to ask for help to return to that profound knowing that there is enough for all of us. Faithfulness to these two practices is the way I transform my grandmother’s great suffering into abundant life for myself and future generations. These two practices transform the quality of my engagement with all of the systems of which I am a part, enabling me to show up as my grounded, brilliant, determined, and effective self. 

When the fear of scarcity comes my way, I know it to be a feeling, a story–albeit a false one. With greater self awareness and the support of others, I can act from a place truer than that intense fear, from a place of freedom and flow, toward the healing of our world. With God’s help, may it be so.


Learn more

Join us at the Trailblazing Conference, the culmination of the Trailblazing Institute

Visit Be Present, home of the Be Present Empowerment Model

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